H E A V Y
H E A V Y
Bottled up and frustrated. I have been full of emotion lately and this is my hideaway, so here is where I'll spill it all:
This year has been absolutely life changing in its beauty and in its downfalls. From the worldly tragedies we've faced to my own personal battles. It has been difficult to do anything but spend my spare time focusing on loved ones and allowing those relationships to flourish. With a few set backs and high emotions I can easily defend my absence from the blog. Not an excuse, of course.
When I don't blog I feel held back, I feel small. When my work load here is steady I feel inferior, powerful, and strong. Lately I haven't been able to successfully form words for the feelings I've experienced. In my head it makes sense, but as I form the sentences it isn't matching up. (Here goes the vent) It humbles me and reminds me of how much love and help we all must need. If I can feel theses heavy tiresome voids I know that others out there are also as unhappy.
I could blame my past or blame my mistakes. I could even blame the lack of opportunity surrounding me. But am I able to say those things STILL hold me back? Absolutely not. Is there an excuse? Not at all. I have so many dreams and so many aspirations all of which also don't make sense outside my own thought process. I feel so misunderstood. So bottled up. If you're listening now, but never imagined I was this relatable, well now you're in my head.